Stella Casablancas
19 Years
Sophomore at BNU
Single, not looking.

Things I never said||Aidella

Things weren’t meant to get so fucked up, at least that’s not how she planned them to be. Such a happy girl that was always so strong, that didn’t think she could get broken until just a few months ago. There were many reasons that she couldn’t find herself to tell her boyfriend and her own best friend what was going on, or even why she shut them out. It was hard to explain herself how messed up her mental health was. She was only able to talk to someone that was as fucked up in the head as she was at the moment, and that was Alex. She’d had a lot to think about the night before, up in the mountains where Alex had taken her, finally getting everything out in the open. The only thing she hadn’t mentioned was something she had remembered after she had gotten her memory back, a harsh truth about why she got in that car, why she forced herself to drive under the influence. Hopefully now that she was ready to tell Aiden he’d understand, she knew that if she lost him she’d get that same feeling again and wouldn’t know what to turn to.

As Stella sat in her room staring out at nothing, her head spun dizzily. She put her head in her hands to block out the thoughts but memories of the past weeks replayed in her head over and over again. From the accident, to the anons, her sister, everything. “Okay..” She muttered to herself lowly as she got up from her bed and walked to her bedroom door, grabbing her satchel on the way and slinging it around her neck. She locked up her dorm shakily, her head still throbbing with images as she made her way down the hall and out of the girls dorms. Stella walked across campus, something she was normally so cheerful about but today just..nervous. It scared her to think that the people she cared about most would look at her in a different way, like she was disturbed for thinking the way she did. She just wanted to be normal again but that was easier said than done. Maybe opening up to Aiden would help, if he didn’t think she was crazy. 

She let out a heavy sigh as she made it to the boys dorms, taking in the sight of the rooms that seemed a bit unfamiliar to her. She walked down the hall, finding her way to his dorm and reaching her hand up to knock. She hesitated, her arm going down slowly. Don’t leave.. She thought biting her lip as she stared down at her feet. Her heart racing slightly at the thought of this confrontation. The last time she had spoken to Aiden, he had told her he was pretty much done. That alone had given her those aching pains in her chest that ached to just be with him again, to forget everything. Stella let out a heavy sigh and rose her hand up to knock, this time giving the door a few taps. I must look horrible. She thought referring to her red eyes. Those eyes bloodshot from a night of tears and nightmares. When he opened the door her eyes looked up to meet his. Her mouth unable to come up with words to speak as she stood there.

© credit